Monday, August 25, 2008

Hiding My Face Around Here

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School has started for me, meaning things are going to be a little wonky while I figure out my new schedule and adjust my diet to support the new activity. Food and I don't get along as well as I'd like. I have a very sensitive stomach prone to stomach aches, and I'm a picky eater, partially due to the sensitive stomach. My stomach is so sensitive that I can't watch Nightmare Before Christmas without throwing up. You see, the first time I saw the film, I ate a bunch of gummy bears and hurled. Gummy candy has been on the outlawed list since that day. My stomach also growls in warning whenever the bad guy from that movie comes on, which is my cue that I still cannot handle the movie. If I could give up one necessary function and still survive, I'd give up eating. I'd be very happy to never have to eat again. I hate the feeling of a full stomach (weighs me down), and for the most part eat about as little as I can and still survive. Accordingly, remember when Heather from America's Next Top Model went down at the Enrique video shoot because she needed to eat? That would be me at the moment.

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I've complained about this to my doctor(s), but I have Kaiser, and Kaiser does not care. It might seem nice to maintain your weight without specific effort like going to the gym, but it's trying emotionally when your family doesn't understand and think that you're just being difficult. It's also annoying when you have to ruin your friends' fun because you need to eat and/or you can't eat anything there. And, being a woman, I get the added bonus of having to balance my diet for my period or else I get really bad PMS. PMS where I'll be in a good mood and mean to say soemthing nice to someone, but somewhere between the thought of the action and the action itself, it gets warped by rage and will come out pretty damn mean. Uncontrollable for me since I never thought the mean thought. Where'd it come from? Was by body taken over by some unseen invader? I'm Spock, dammit, part of the reason Ivy Frozen stuck around as my internet name. It is terribly disconcerting.

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So, there you get a lovely explantion for my difficulties with school and why I will likely slack over here on Mondays, when I'm in class all day. When I'm sick, it's usually this; I never really get colds anymore. Looks like I will need to talk to some of my teachers about being able to take a roaming snack break.

Eating disordered,
Ivy Frozen

P.S. Watch out. I might just do a post on Star Trek Fashion.

P.P.S. Gotta love the dramatic music in the Spock video I linked. Imagine that playing behind my post.

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